Search Here

A traditional view of human social development says a person's early relationship with his mother defines his relationships in his later years.

This view was confirmed with evidence in a recent study conducted by psychologist Jeffry A. Simpson and his University of Minnesota colleagues W. Andrew Collins and Jessica E. Salvatore.

They have assessed 75 children of low-income mothers from their birth into their early 30s for the Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation. As part of the project, subjects' relationships with their mothers, close friends and romantic partners were assessed. When the subjects were infants, their bond with their mothers was assessed. Then, they have been assessed regularly for their skills and resilience in working through conflicts with school peers, teenage best friends and love partners.

"Your interpersonal experiences with your mother during the first 12 to 18 months of life predict your behavior in romantic relationships 20 years later," says Simpson.

However, the research goes further. "We find a weak but important thread" between the infant in the mother's arms and the 20-year-old in his lover's. But "one thing has struck us over the years: It's often harder to find evidence for stable continuity than for change on many measures," say the researcher.

"If you can figure out what those old models are and verbalize them," and if you get involved with a committed, trustworthy partner, says Simpson, "you may be able to revise your models and calibrate your behavior differently." Old affection patterns can be overcome.  A betrayed baby can become a loyal lover.

The research of Simpson and his colleagues is published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, a journal published by the Association for Psychological Science.