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A recent study suggests that lying to children could build their dishonesty, even if the lies are seemingly harmless. 

Conducted by researchers from Singapore, the study observed 564 children aged 11 to 12 to discern the correlation between parental lies and the children's propensity to fib.

Categorizing lies

Lead researcher Dr. Setoh Pei Pei shared their findings, indicating that while white lies might be well-intentioned, their discovery by children could paradoxically encourage dishonesty in them.

In the study, researchers looked into two categories of lies: instrumental and white lies. Instrumental lies aim to influence children's behavior, such as claiming a lack of funds when a child pleads for toys. On the other hand, white lies seek to uplift children emotionally, like praising their subpar piano playing as "beautiful."

Parental and children's honesty

Analyzing responses from both children and parents, the researchers found a significant association between parental instrumental lying and children's dishonesty. Additionally, children were more likely to fib themselves if they detected white lies aimed at them.

Dr. Pei Pei elucidated that although instrumental lies might seem expedient for parental discipline, they inadvertently contribute to a culture of dishonesty within the family dynamic.

The study's survey methodology included participants, 95% of whom are mothers, with inquiries delving into the frequency of both parental lies and children's dishonesty. The conclusion emphasizes the critical role of honesty in parenting, suggesting that even seemingly innocuous fibs could have detrimental effects on children's integrity.

How to manage lying in children

To manage lying in children, parents should prioritize honesty in their interactions. They can foster open communication and create a supportive environment where children feel safe to express themselves truthfully. 

Modeling honesty in their own behavior is essential, avoiding the use of lies, even white lies, as a means of discipline or emotional support. When dishonesty occurs, parents should address it calmly and discuss the consequences of lying. Reinforcing the importance of honesty helps children understand the value of trust in relationships.