Search Here

John Gottman, a renowned psychologist, has identified nine key components that form the foundation of a healthy and fulfilling connection between partners. These components, collectively known as the "Sound Relationship House," provide a roadmap for couples seeking to build and maintain a strong bond over time.

1. Love maps

Love maps refer to the intricate knowledge and understanding partners have of each other's inner world, including likes, dislikes, dreams and fears. Cultivating this deep familiarity fosters intimacy and strengthens emotional connection.

2. Fondness and admiration

Expressing fondness and admiration involves recognizing and appreciating each other's qualities, actions and efforts. Regularly affirming positive feelings towards one another reinforces mutual respect and affection.

3. Lean towards, not away

In moments of conflict or distress, partners who turn towards each other for support and understanding, rather than withdrawing or becoming defensive, nurture trust and emotional safety within the relationship.

4. Positive perspective

Maintaining a positive outlook on the relationship, even during challenging times, enhances resilience and fosters a sense of hope and optimism for the future.

5. Conflict management

To effectively address conflict, it is particularly important to avoid the four horsemen of relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling, as they can erode trust and connection if left unchecked.

6. Life dreams

Sharing and supporting each other's aspirations and goals creates a sense of partnership and collaboration, fostering mutual encouragement and motivation to pursue individual and shared dreams.

7. Shared meaning

Cultivating shared rituals, traditions and goals creates a sense of purpose and belonging within the relationship, enriching daily interactions and deepening emotional connection.

8. Trust

Trust forms the bedrock of a healthy relationship, built through honesty, reliability and consistency in words and actions. Trust empowers partners to be vulnerable and authentic with each other.

9. Commitment

Commitment entails a dedication to the long-term health and happiness of the relationship, even in the face of challenges or setbacks. Prioritizing the partnership above individual desires fosters security and stability.