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Emotional habits are patterns of behavior and thought that dictate how a person responds to different situations. They are deeply ingrained and can significantly impact one's well-being and relationships. While people have some control over their emotional habits, they are also influenced by external factors, including the people they interact with regularly.

Psychologist Steven Hayes introduced the metaphor of "passengers on the bus" to explain how different thoughts and emotions coexist within a person's mind. According to this metaphor, each thought or emotion is like a passenger on a bus driven by the person. Some passengers may be helpful and supportive, while others may be negative or destructive.

The passengers on the bus metaphor can be influenced by external factors, particularly the people with whom a person interacts frequently. These people, such as family members, friends and colleagues, can act as passengers on the bus, influencing the person's emotional habits through their words, actions and attitudes.

Positive influence

Positive and supportive encounters can serve as encouraging passengers on the bus, creating healthy emotional habits. Their presence can provide reassurance, empathy, and understanding, helping a person navigate challenges with resilience and optimism. Additionally, these people may offer constructive feedback and guidance, facilitating personal growth and development.

Negative influence

Conversely, negative or toxic encounters can act as detrimental passengers on the bus, contributing to unhealthy emotional habits. Their critical remarks, pessimistic outlook, or manipulative behavior can fuel feelings of insecurity, anxiety, or anger within the person. Over time, exposure to such negativity may reinforce destructive patterns of thinking and behavior.

While people cannot always control the presence of passengers on their bus, they can learn to manage them effectively. This involves setting boundaries with toxic people, seeking support from positive influences and practicing self-awareness and mindfulness to recognize and address unhelpful thoughts and emotions.