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All couples experience phases where they feel less connected, but it is essential to recognize when these feelings indicate a deeper issue.

What is the Roommate Phase?

The roommate phase is a period in a marriage where partners feel more like cohabitants than a loving couple. This phase is characterized by a significant decrease in physical and emotional intimacy. Over time, routines and monotony set in, diminishing the excitement in the relationship. According to Rachel Goldberg, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, this disconnection often happens gradually, making it challenging to recognize immediately.

Signs of Being Trapped in the Roommate Phase

Lack of Physical Intimacy

One of the primary signs is the absence of physical affection where partners may stop engaging in activities like hugging, kissing, or holding hands, leading to a feeling of emotional distance.

Breakdown in Communication

Meaningful conversations become rare when partners no longer share their thoughts, feelings, or daily experiences with each other, leading to a sense of isolation.

Increased Time Apart

Couples start spending more time apart, either physically or emotionally. This could be due to work commitments, personal hobbies, or simply choosing to be in different rooms at home.

Routine Over Romance

The relationship becomes more about managing daily tasks and routines rather than nurturing the romantic connection. This can make partners feel like they are merely managing a household together.

Avoidance of Conflict

Instead of addressing issues, partners may choose to avoid conflicts altogether. This avoidance can lead to unresolved tensions and increased resentment over time.

Feelings of Resentment

Accumulated frustrations and unmet needs can lead to resentment. This resentment may manifest as irritability or passive-aggressive behavior.

Decreased Interest in Each Other's Lives

There is a noticeable decline in curiosity about each other's personal lives, goals, or aspirations. Partners may feel disconnected and uninvolved.