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Family gatherings are a big and important part of our lives. Even if everyone grows up and goes about their own way later in life, we still try to get together a few times a year. But why does it always start and end the same way? 

Planning a family gathering is exciting, and seeing each other for the first time after a long time gets fun, but then it goes downhill and becomes frustrating.

(Photo : Obie Fernandez / Unsplash)

Old Ways and Habits

One of the reasons why history seems to repeat itself every time there is a family gathering is because people naturally get back into old habits or roles. 

So even if we all grew up and now live different lives, your parents or older siblings might still treat you like a kid once you see each other. At the same time, there is a tendency to relive past issues and events. 

While something that happened in the past might be extremely funny or silly to a family member, it could mean or feel different for you.

Unrealistic Family Expectations

Another reason is that a lot of people still stick to an idealistic view of what a family is. And even though there has been a lot of evolution around this idea, some are wired into thinking that a "perfect family" exists. 

To them, problems in the family do not exist, and it is a group of warm and supportive individuals. However, it could be the opposite when reality hits, causing pain and sadness.

What to Do to Lessen Stress at Family Gatherings

So you get excited when planning a family gathering, but then you also remember how it ends and becomes a stress source. And then you think, maybe you should not go this time. 

But then there's also the truth that you still want to see them even if it can get stressful. So what do you do? One of the things you can do is set boundaries, which can start during the planning stage. 

If you have to call them beforehand, do so, or make sure that you communicate well during the event. Letting your family members know you have all grown up will remind them exactly that.