Mental Health

How to Help Your Children Deal With Divorce

By Dynne C. | Update Date: Nov 23, 2023 01:25 AM EST

The dilemma of letting go or trying to resolve recurring conflicts in a marriage can be difficult. This decision gets even more challenging when the children are involved.

One of the many reasons why people stay in unhappy marriages is that they want to spare their children from the pain. However, in some cases, getting a divorce can actually save the children in the long run. Several studies have proven that most children of divorce tend to become well-adjusted adults as they grow up. 

However, it is still important for parents to consider that such an event can still be traumatic to their children. Here are some ways to help them cope with a divorce.

Communicate honestly and keep a routine

In a study, researchers found that couples who failed to communicate about serious marital conflicts with their children negatively affected their ability to adjust to the change. In contrast, children who have not been muted from conflicts found divorce as a relief from the constant fighting of their parents, especially if the quarrels affect their parenting quality.

Be respectful and communicate honestly with your children, but do not make them take sides. Letting them know about the changes in living arrangements and other activities would keep them from being surprised by the news. 

If possible, stick to a routine, a new one, that will let them know that although changes are happening, they can still expect consistency from you. Additionally, learn to have a co-parenting strategy that works for both parents as well as your children.

Consider professional help

If you feel like your children are overwhelmed by the news, consider sending them to therapy. You can try letting them go on their own, or see if it helps that you are going with them. It may be helpful to look for signs like their expression of stress, anxiety, or behavioral problems that started with getting the news.  

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